April 2004


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04.29.2004 - - - 6:53 PM
The weather is nice and warm today in anticipation of Hardcoreís arrival. As I type this, she is about an hour from landingÖso that probably puts her over like Pennsylvania or something. I donít know, Iím not good with the flight paths and the geography. Iím excited for her to get here, itís going to be a fun weekend with her and The Ned. Last night I left somewhat early (6:45 PM, so lame that thatís early) so I could clean up my place a bit and do some laundry. As I walked to the subway stop near my office, the bus pulled up. I decided, why not take the bus? So I did. I took the bus, and it was nice. I talked on the on the phone the whole time, one of the best perks of the aboveground travel. About halfway through the trip I noticed that my stomach was starting to feel funny Ė sort of like I was carsick. Eventually I started to feel so bad that I got off about 10 blocks before my stop so I could have some fresh air. It didnít help. By the time I got to my apartment building, I seriously thought I was going to yarf. At that point I was like, ďthe hell?Ē because Iíd had my fresh air and all of that. I started to wonder if it was something Iíd eaten. At lunch, my coworker and I took our interns out to a thank-you meal of Greek food. I called my coworker to see if she was feeling ill, because weíd split a plate, but she didnít answer. I spent the rest of the night curled up on my couch. Way to get NOTHING done! Did I mention my bus driver looked just like Snoop Dogg? That was awesome.

So, flash forward to now. I left work even earlier today (5:30, nice!) so that I could clean and do laundry. I wore these cute flip flop high heels from Gap to work, and they totally cut up the sides of my feet to the point that there was no way Iíd be able to make the Subway Walk. I was standing on the corner in front of my office trying to decide what I was going to do, when the bus pulled up. Yes, it had possibly made me sick the day before, but taking the bus meant hardly any walking! So I tempted fate and rode that bitch all the way home. I feel fine, baby! I think it was something I ate, seriously. I never did ask my coworker if sheíd felt sick last night. Oh well, sheís in Coachella now, that lucky beeyotch. Although, I donít envy the weather sheís going to get there Ė itís supposed to be 100 degrees on Saturday and 106 on Sunday!!! I LOVE intense heat, but without a pool nearby there is no one I want to see that much. K should go there and sell water bottles Ė heíd make a killing.

I got a scandalous hat the other day. The other day, The New York Post published a picture of Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Shilling wearing a "Yankee Hater" hat out at a hockey game. I thought the hat was totally awesome, so I went home and showed it to my mom, who was still here. She thought it was awesome, too, and we bought it! Oh yeah, baby. It arrived yesterday at my office.

Totally awesome, right? My dad got all fatherly on my ass and said, ďHeather! People will THROW things at you if you wear that! You canít get away with that in NEW YORK!!Ē Well, duh. I wonít wear it to a Yankees game, I donít have a death wish. Itís for select events. For example, next week The Boyfriend and I are going to a Giants/Mets game. I can totally wear my Yankee Hater there Ė Giants fans wonít care, and Mets fans by definition donít like the Yankees. It will be all good. I can wear it in LA, and if I ever go to Boston I will be like a freaking national hero with it. Note that the hat is done up in Boston Red Sox colors. Oh yeah.

Dude, my laundry is taking forever! Yes, Iím in the Laundromat typing my entry again. Itís all about multi-tasking, peeps! At this rate, my laundry will be done riiiiiight when Hardcore gets here. Thatís no good! I need like 5 extra minutes to squirt some furniture polish in the air so it smells like I cleaned.

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04.27.2004 - - - 4:14 PM
Holy crap, my nizzles! This has easily been the busiest 12 day stretch of my working life! Last Monday, Cali Boss came into town. I was excited because Cali Boss rules the school, plus I knew that with him here I was going to be getting set up with all kinds of free lunches! Oh yeah! What I did not take into account was how many MEETINGS there would be because of his presence. Yes, I arranged a good portion of the meetings. I just didn't realize how much time they would take up. On Monday, I was in three meetings that were between 1 and 2 hours long, plus a 90-minute lunch. I didn't leave the office until 7:30, and I generally make it a habit to NOT be there that late. Then on Tuesday, I had 4 more meetings...Wednesday had two more, including a THREE AND A HALF HOUR meeting at the end of the day that made me want to shove needles into my eyes. On Thursday I was frantically trying to catch up with all my missed work from the past three days, and then on Friday I left early to meet up with my Mom and Princess Leah. Oh yeah, they came on Tuesday night! I was crazy at work, crazy (fun) at home. Crazy!

I had a ton of fun with my mom and cuz. Princess Leah had never been to The City before. My mom proved a worthy tour guide, and they both managed to navigate the subways without me! I was so proud. They both did tons of walking and SOMEBODY shopped her ass off to the point that one of my suitcases was needed for the return flight! Ha. It was so great to have them here, I was so sad when they left but I hopefully hid it well. I miss them! I have some pictures to upload that The Princess took from the Empire State Building that are pretty neat. I have a ton of pictures to upload, actually. Hardcore and Woodsy keep asking me about the weekend they spent here. I suck. Speaking of Hardcore, she is the next highly anticipated guest scheduled to stay at the Plastic Studio. She's lucky that so far it looks like fantastic weather for the weekend. The last time she was here it freaking rained and was FREEZING! She needs to see a more hospitable NYC climate.

Speaking of the climate (what a segue), it has been totally schizo out here. Last Monday it was 87 degrees - AMAZING weather. Some people actually had the balls to complain about the heat and humidity. Jerks! It felt so good. Unfortunately, the weather got progressively worse as the week went on, and by yesterday it was POURING rain. Stupid weather teasing me. I even went to the GYM in the RAIN yesterday, people. It was raining so hard I needed an umbrella. That is some serious exercise commitment, my friends. Ooh...that reminds me. I went to the Doctor last week, where I was weighed. After two solid weeks of working out, I weighed FIVE POUNDS MORE than when I started. Do not tell me it is muscle. I was wicked pissed. It's not like I went on a crazy binge or something? Five pounds...so annoying.

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04.15.2004 - - - 5:50 PM
I am so glad it's Thursday. It's been one of those weeks that has been just a little too much, you know? First, the rain. Oh, it's has been raining like crazy until this morning. The weathermen are telling us that it's supposed to be beautiful this weekend, easing us into Monday when it's supposed to be 80 DEGREES! They'd best be right, because this California chica can't take much more of this "weather" crap. Second, work. So many work fires this week! What the hell did they do here before I came? I wonder because every time something bad has happened, I have been the designated fireman. Who was the person who had to do it before me? Poor sap. I feel for you, where ever you are...probably unemployed now...yeah, I'll put out those fires. Hey, maybe if the rain comes back it can put out the fires for me! The best thing about no more rain is no more umbrellas. The pedestrians of New York City react to rain the same way the drivers of LA react - with panic and only a thought for themselves. I've endured people shaking their umbrellas off ON ME in the subway, people pushing through the crowded sidewalks with golf umbrellas, and people stopping at the top of a subway exit to open their umbrellas. This is by far the biggest offense of all. When it rains the subways are even more packed than usual, which means more people are getting off, you get the idea. When one person stops on the steps of the exit, EVERYONE stops because they can't get by. It's the ultimate Big Momma. I just want to scream at them! Grr.

I went outside to pick up lunch today, and I saw blue sky for the first time in ages! Maybe these weathermen are onto something. I could feel it starting to get a bit warmer. I'm not going to pack away my warm coats yet - the last time it was "warm" here, I went and bought a lightweight coat at the Gap that I have worn exactly once, and I was freezing the whole time. However, I love wearing my camel colored long coat, it's so warm and comfy. I think I'll still wear it in my apartment when my air conditioning gets to be too much. I have free utilities, people! I can do these things. Another thing I realized today on my way to lunch is that I would be really good at spinning the wheel on the Price is Right. We have a revolving door in our building and I can spin the hell out of it! I would kick that wheel's ass, yo. Oh, and did I mention that the lunch I went out to get today was free? I had a free coupon to a local burger place, and it expired today. No way was I going to let free food go to waste! I marched my ass down there and got my burger. It was good, too. The free made it taste even better!

Finally, I have a plea to all Today Show Commercial Executives. Comm Execs, I have this thing about feet. I hate them. I hate how they smell, how they look, the very thought of them. So you can imagine my extreme unhappiness these last few days when, during your show, there were two commercials that featured feet prominently. The first one I've seen for a year or so now. You know the one, where the fungus taunts the viewers about how our topical fungus creams can't get it and then it LIFTS UP THE BIG TOE NAIL and jumps under? I am repulsed by that. How does that make someone want to buy their product? I have been scarred by that commercial ever since Bells and Jax evilly paused the Tivo to make me see it. REMOVE IT FROM MORNING TELEVISION! Think of the children! The other commercial is for that liquid Band Aid stuff. This dude is at the beach with a HUGE wound on the BOTTOM of his FOOT. The clear band aid crap gets applied to it, and suddenly the dude is off playing with his kids or whatever. Gross! First of all, does the band aid remove the pain from the wound? Because that mother looks like it really hurt. Second, you can still see the red wound! What if some dude was just cruising around with what looked like an open wound on his hand? That's just weird. And third, WHY did it have to be on the bottom of his foot? This morning I was traumatized by these two commercials BACK TO BACK. Today Show! What are you trying to do to me? It's hard enough for me to stand up on my cross trainer without these offenses! I still love Cojo, though.

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04.12.2004 - - - 7:50 PM
As I write this, Iím sitting in the complex Laundromat. The company that owns my building actually owns my entire block and half of the block just north of me. They have a Laundromat that we can all use (although, something tells me the elevator building at the end of the street that overlooks the East River has their own), so here I sit on Monday night. My neighborhood is very funny in that all kinds of people live here. The Upper East Side has a reputation for being full of yuppie, fratty families, but you wouldnít know it from sitting in this room right now. Although, there is no way to prove that any of us actually live in the complex...we donít need a key to get in, and Iíve never been asked to prove that I have the right to use this facility. Not like I am just BEGGING to pay 11 quarters for every load of wash I do (and one quarter for every seven minutes of drying). I sure miss the days when I only had to go down three flights of stairs to a washing machine that cost 75 cents and a dryer that cost .50. I especially miss when I could bring my laundry over to The Boyfriendís house! He has a washer/dryer in his apartment. Lucky. I ESPECIALLY miss being able to take my laundry home to mom! Although, to be fair, the last time I did laundry I lugged it from New York to California to do it at her house. Now THATíS lazy. A new girl in my office just moved in down the street from me, and there isnít any laundry service on her block. Thatís rare out here. I know Iím lucky to have my laundry one building over. I just wish it didnít cost so damn much! Stupid expensive city.

Speaking of costing a lot, I went to my first Yankees game on Saturday! I had a lot of fun, even though the seats cost a lot and the beers cost eight bucks. Eight whole dollars, my friends, and that wasnít even for the nice beer. Nay, eight dollars for what I believe was cheap domestic beer. Donít get me wrong, I love me some domestic beer Ė but it has to be cheap! Eight bucks for PBR or Miller just isnít my idea of a good buy. I still drank like five, though. Plus a beer before the game. And a beer after. Plus a pitcher at Blondieís. And another beer at Ship of Foolís. But, I only paid for the beers at the game! Everyone else was so grateful that I organized our little excursion that they kept treating me. Everyone knows you donít turn down a free beer. I made it home safely with minimal bruising. I would like it to be known that while I DID collide with a wall ad that stuck out half a foot from the wall, that was LONG before I consumed my multiple beers. In fact, I was only on a single beer at that time. I was remarking over the $10 sushi they sold inside Yankee Stadium, and I wasnít watching where I was going. The next thing I knew, BAM, right into the wall ad. I have spot bruises from half way up the front of my leg to my shoulder. Nice work. Luckily, only one of my friends saw it happen. I liked Yankee Stadium a lot Ė it had a very cool old-baseball feel to it that you just canít find at many parks. I especially liked that the Yankees lost! Everyone kept saying it was too bad that they lost on my first trip to the stadium, but I was rather pleased with that outcome! I had lots of fun, and I want to bring The Boyfriend back there when heís here in May. I might have to take out a loan, but weíll do it.

I just realized that after my trip to Yankee stadium, I have made it to four of the five boroughs of New York! That was one of the goals I set for myself a long time ago, far before I knew I was going to live in New York. When the weather gets a bit better Iíll have to hop on the ferry out to Staten Island. That makes five, baby! When I set foot on Staten Island, Iím totally going to do a Toyota-Style jump in the air. Hmm, I guess that means I have to bring someone along with me to document the jumping. Otherwise, I could just say that I jumped in the air, and no one would be the wiser. That wouldnít really be cool, though, so I will take a picture. That means I have to go to Staten Island before May 12Öthatís the last day The Boyfriend will be here, and heís the last of my April/May guests. If itís nice weather when Princess Leah is here, maybe sheíll be the lucky photog. I bet thatís just what she wants out of her trip to NYC!

Itís better than having to do laundry, thatís for damn sure. Dude! I still have 7 minutes left on one machine and 11 minutes left on the other. THEN I have to dry! I think Iím going to look into sending my laundry out. NahÖIím lazy, but mostly cheap. I didnít even want to have TB do my laundry, so I canít imagine letting a stranger do it! I think Iíll just have to stick to dragging my lazy ass down here once a month to do my 8,000 metric tons of laundry Ė itís cheaper when you totally cram the machine to bursting! Yeah!!!

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04.09.2004 - - - 4:07 PM
Today was my third day in a row of waking up early to work out. I am so proud of myself! I was feeling good when I got home, so I took a nice long shower, took my time getting ready, and put in that "extra" effort: I wore nice clothes and curled my hair a bit. AAAAALLLLL DAY people have been acting like I was sneaking around on The Boyfriend or something! "Where are you going after work?" "Is The Boyfriend here?" "You don't have a date...do you?" NO PEOPLE! I was just feeling good about myself and I wanted to dress appropriately. Clearly looking nice unnerves my coworker peeps. They obviously prefer me in jeans, scuffed addidas, and a tiny sweatshirt. I will oblige, because this exclaiming over me is annoying. Sheesh.

My company did something crazy today - it held an Easter egg hunt...with prizes! Craziness. Okay, it was an idea that my friend Staysh had, and she totally took it upon herself to put the whole thing on, but it was approved and paid for by my company, so it's still shocking. There were 36 eggs hidden all over the office. All of them had candy, five had lottery scratchers, and two had $25 gift certificates. It was so funny to see some of my coworkers running all over the office, looking under things and over things for eggs. I was one of the lucky $25 gift certificate winners, and I let out a mighty cheer over my victory. Damn right! Twenty five bucks to the Gap, nothing to sneeze at. I will spend it well. The hunt was a great way to break up the monotony of the day. A lot of people took the day off so it's been super-quiet. I have been joking about saying I need to leave early to go to church...of course, my church happens to sell $2 draft beers. I know, I know, I'm not gonna do it - simply because Woodsy and my mom would not be happy with me! So when I leave early, I will simply say that Iím going to happy hour. Ah, the truth.

I've been trying to be conservative with my money every since I took the gym plunge, but it never fails that when you tighten the purse strings, the activities come flying. The last few nights I've been invited to happy hours, tonight being no exception. Hang on - Michael Jackson "Black or White" on the iPod: DANCE BREAK!!! I love the rap. Anyway, tomorrow is my first Yankee game, and not only were the tickets $12 more than what I'm used to spending at Dodger Stadium (only $6!), but I'm pretty certain that the beer and hot dogs are going to be pricey to help cover Pay-Rod's salary. I'll be sure to enter the stadium with a good beer base. And no, I do not capitalize "the stadium" because BOO YANKEES! I'll keep that opinion to myself tomorrow, although I will represent West SIIIIIDE with my Dodgers Cap. Go Dodgers!

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04.08.2004 - - - 3:32 PM
Damn job keeping me busy! I keep a little list of things to write about here when I'm working throughout the day, so that when I get a second to write I can recall everything. I have a pretty long list, seeing that I haven't updated in a week, but the problem is that everything is outdated now. Last week it was really slow every morning, but my brain is not geared up to write at that time of day. Then, the evenings were incredibly busy, so I was never actually able to write. Usually on occasions like that, I go home and write my entry on my home computer...which wasn't possible last week thanks to its death. You'll all be happy to know that I have received recovery disks, and I spent Sunday night reloading Windows XP. I have a lot of work to do to get my computer back to where it was. I have to download printer drivers, find my Palm Pilot software, etc. etc. It's such a pain in the ass. Stupid computer!

In other, shocking news, I have joined a gym! That's right, I'm spending my discretionary income on something other than clothes and booze! The other morning something snapped (my pants, perhaps?), and I decided I was going to join a gym. I went to a New York Sports Club on Tuesday night, whipped out the debit card, and joined. I even got my friend Pico a backpack full of NYSC goodies by saying he referred me. Bright and early on Wednesday morning I went and worked out! And again this morning! By joining I got a free session with a personal trainer, so this morning the trainer walked me through a bunch of different exercises. She kicked my ass, yo! I am already sore, so I can just imagine how it's going to feel tomorrow after a night in bed. Shoot, I can just imagine how it's going to feel climbing up the five flights to my apartment after work! It's all worth it, though. The trainer weighed me, and I was not happy with the amount. I'm gonna be all svelte and crap just in time for bathing suit weather. Does NYC even have bathing suit weather? I know people "go to the Hamptons," but I am not one of those people. I guess I'll be finding out in a few months.

The famous Kimmi Co Co Puff was here visiting me last weekend. That made two Cali guests in one weekend, although Kimmi Co Co Puff was the only one staying with me. We did a bunch of crap, you can check it out here to see it all. The Kims were the first of a long line of guests I have coming out this month/next month. Next batch is the lovely Princess Leah, followed by Hardcore and The Ned, and concluding with The Boyfriend. Fun Fun! I love guests! Speaking of Hardcore, she was just telling me about her 401k plan, and I realized I still haven't joined mine yet. So I went to the website, and joining is hard! I don't want to have to think about what kind of investments I make. I don't know if stocks or bonds are better! I need someone to make those decisions for me. Since I'm not famous with loads of cash, that person will have to be my dad. Yay, dad!

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